Dear Dorothy,
I am in my early thirties and consider myself a successful career woman – occupying an executive position in a well-paid job. However, my self-esteem is very low because of previous failed relationships. Although I have dated quite a number of men since university (I completed my Master’s degree at the age of 21), none of my relationships have ended up in marriage. All my friends are married or getting married and I feel so bad because I can’t find anyone who likes me enough to settle down with me. I am scared that I will never find my soulmate and that I will be alone for the rest of my life. This situation is really getting to me as I feel that I am unloved and unattractive.
Please help me! I wish I could find a man who will love and cherish me and we live happily ever after. Another concern of mine is that my biological clock is ticking fast and I despair at not having children which I will love to have.
Dorothy what can I do to help my situation, I am getting desperate?
My dear,
First of all, you have to get rid of your self-pity and desperation. You have something to be cheerful about – you have a successful career. Yes, we all want to love and be loved in return, but there is so much more to life than relationships between a man and a woman.
Pick yourself up, go into the world and begin to live your life. Go out and make friends and enjoy your life. Make the friends not with a view of marriage, but with a view of getting along without any desperation. Remember you do not need a man to be happy. As you live your life, believe me the right man will come along when you are not even looking for him. You are still young and you have your whole life ahead of you.
Furthermore, no matter how you feel, look after yourself. Join a gym, get your hair done, pamper yourself. Take steps to make sure you feel good about yourself. If you don’t feel confident and comfortable in your own skin, how is anyone else going to want to be around you? Nobody wants to spend time with someone who is negative and feels that they are not worthy of being loved. This sort of mind-set is a big no-no, especially with respect to romantic interests.
Cheer up. There is someone special out there for you. I am sure you will both meet each another soon as long as you live life cheerful and confident in yourself.
Good luck.