My husband cheated on me a few months ago, and finding out about it put me in emotional turmoil. I am financially independent, and was able to move out of our house. He has apologised and for months, has been trying to make it up to me. I still love him and I want to move back into our home. Our two young children also miss their daddy.
We have discussed our relationship and I have told him that infidelity is a red line for me. He has promised never to stray again. We have also agreed to go for marriage counselling to better understand ourselves. He is a great dad to our children and I had always regarded him as a loving husband until I discovered he was having an affair.
Dear Dorothy, do you advise me to move back with my children, what are the chances that he will not cheat on me again? Can it be said that once a cheater always a cheater? What do you think? I want to do what is right for the children and myself.
My Dear,
If he cheated once, he can cheat again. There are no guarantees that he will keep to his word to be faithful. However, truth be told, it is you who has to make the decision on whether you should leave or stay with your husband because you are they one who is going to have to stay with the man and deal with whatever comes up in the relationship.
You say he has promised to be faithful to you going forward. Do you believe him? What if he strays again, will you pack up and leave again? Can you handle another betrayal from him? How important is fidelity to you? Go through the proposed counseling with him. Be honest with yourself and what you want out of your relationship going forward. The truth of the matter is while some women can cope and live with a philanderer of a husband, others do not have the mental and emotional make-up to deal with it. In my view, an emotional yo-yo is not the best for anyone in a relationship. It affects all aspects of their mental and physical health and their ability to perform optimally in their life.
No one can decide for you, it is your life, weigh the options and make the best decision for you and your children.
Good luck.