DEAR DOROTHY
I am in a very bad place physically, mentally and emotionally. The man I was dating for the past seven years ended our relationship about six months ago. I thought we were in love with each other, and looking forward to our wedding in November this year.
But, can you imagine that the man I thought was my one and only was cheating on me for the past three years and married the other woman last month. How can men be so insensitive and so wicked? I feel he has wasted seven years of my life by stringing me along. I feel like a fool who had no clue which side was up. I am deeply hurt. I have lost considerable weight, and I am mentally and emotionally disturbed. I really don’t know how to carry on with my life. Considering that I am now 35 years old, I despair about the future of my love life and my chances of getting married and settling down as I would very much like to do.
Dorothy please help, I am at a loss as to how to put this experience behind me and carry on.
My dear,
What a pity. It is really very sad how some men toy with the emotions and lives of the women they claim to be in love with.
Dating someone for such a long time and being convinced that the person is your soulmate and life partner, only to discover that you were living in a fool’s paradise is difficult to deal with.
However, deal with it you must. At some point, you have to let the pain go. It is unhealthy to keep thinking about a past relationship that you can’t do anything about.
You have to take the time to analyse what has happened to you, and then resolve to put it behind you so that it does not go on impacting your physical, mental and emotional well-being.
It is so important that you make peace with the past so that it doesn’t get in the way of your future. It may hurt right now but, sometimes a breakup can actually be a blessing in disguise. Sometimes you will lose someone you never thought you would, just to make room for someone else who can love you better and fully restore your belief in love. We can be so stuck on looking back at the person who left that we completely overlook the fact that room is being made for someone much better to enter our lives.
That someone left you is not the end of your life. The rest of your life is still in front of you and once you have resolved to move on, chances are that you will fall in love again, and have the joy of loving and being loved and cherished in your life. When you fall in love again, my hope is that it will be with a man who will value you, respect you and be honest with you. There are still such gentlemen out there. Don’t let your previous experience colour how you look at men, thinking they are all deceivers and up to no good. When you fall in love again, you will feel a lot healthier in your spirit and it will just feel right.
Let go of the past my dear and step into your bright future. I am sure you are bound to meet your right partner. You are just 35, and your life is still ahead of you. Go ahead with a positive attitude, live it and enjoy it.
Good luck.