Dear Dorothy,
I am a confused. I don’t know if I should believe this guy or not. But he is driving me crazy. I am dating a guy who is also dating another girl, and I know about this. I know he loves her but he keeps telling me that he loves me. He said I am the finest woman that has ever come into his life and I will always be his special girl. That no one can take my place in his heart.
He had been dating the other girl for about eighteen months before we met up and began to see each other. He has said that where the other girl is concerned they are more like friends and “we” have more in common. However, I think he is just stringing me along. We have been seeing each other for about six months.
The problem is that I am in love with this guy. Dorothy, what do you advise me to do? Common sense tells me that I should not waste my time with him, but my heart is saying something else.
My dear,
What came to mind as I read your mail were the lyrics of the Fela Kuti song – Trouble Sleep Yanga Wake Am:
When trouble sleep
Yanga go wake am
Waking him dey find
Palaver, he dey find
Palaver, he go get-e o)
Palaver, he go get
Palaver
How can you see a situation that spells nothing but problem in front of you, and yet, with your eyes wide open, you walk right into it? It is not as if you went into the relationship ignorant of the fact that the man in question was dating someone else! What do you want me to advise – that you should fight the other woman and dislodge her so that you can have him all to yourself? Or that you should view this like a polygamous relationship at best and share him peacefully with her? I really don’t know what to say. But since you have asked for my advice, I don’t think he’s worth all that trouble. You should run from this palaver that is brewing and which will not do you or the other woman any good. Summon your will power and end this relationship. This man is not worth the trouble. Someone who you say is in love with another woman and yet is sweet-talking you can also find another woman tomorrow and fall in love with her while also dating you! Run, don’t walk.