Dear Dorothy,
I am 21 years old and I am dating a man of 32. We have been dating for almost three years. Dorothy, I don’t think he cares about me even though he says he loves me. He rarely calls me or sends me texts. Most of the communication between us is instigated by me. I don’t ask him for money when I am sometimes financially handicapped to do certain things because he always complains he doesn’t have on the few occasions I have asked. He is well-to-do because he has a well-paid job. Furthermore, I have discovered that he is cheating on me. I want to break up with him. I have been tolerating his actions hoping he would change but I am getting tired. Even my family is not in support of our relationship.
Dorothy do I end this relationship? Please advise.
My dear,
I don’t know whether it as a result of your age and limited experience with relationships that you sound so naïve.
- You don’t think he cares about you even though he says he loves you.
- He rarely calls you or send you texts. Most of the communication is initiated by you.
- He does not assist you with your finances because he always complains he doesn’t have any.
- You have discovered that he is also cheating on you.
For any relationship to succeed, both parties must be able to communicate freely and honestly with each other. A relationship that is based on falsehood is on a one-way street to nowhere. The first thing to do is to sit down with him to discuss your relationship in an open and frank manner. For all you know, he may not be aware that he is hurting you. I am sure that you can discern if he is lying or being honest with you when you hold this conversation.
Furthermore, you need to stop involving your family in your relationship as you know all families are biased in judgements especially where their daughter is concerned. So the more you tell them negative things about the man you are dating, the more offended they would be about him.
I strongly recommend that you talk to him and if he doesn’t change after the heart-to-heart discussion, then you can take a decision.
Good luck.