Dear Dorothy,
I have been married for eight years to a man who was once the love of my life. We have a son together. I recently found out that my husband who travels a lot around the country because of the nature of his job is a serial cheat.
While I have been loyal to him all these years, and alone by my lonesome self with my son, always missing him and looking forward to when his job brings him back home, he has been having a jolly good time with different women all over the country. How do I know this? He forgot his phone one day in the house when he took off for his next destination. He called to ask me to send it to him. A text came through while I was answering his phone and it was this text that led me to discover his philandering ways as I went through his text messages.
To be honest Dorothy, I am still in shock. I thought I knew the man I married but boy, was I living in cloud coo-coo land. I am thinking of ending our marriage but I am also considering how the divorce will affect our six-year-old son.
Dorothy, what should I do? I can’t bear living with him any longer.
My dear,
That you both have a child together does not mean you have to stay together and work on this – you have every right to be angry and hurt by what your husband has done. In some situations, divorce can be achieved with minimal impact to the child/ren. With reason prevailing on both sides, a custody arrangement can be agreed upon that is not likely to be disruptive for your son.
Remember that your decision here has the potential to change all three of your lives and try not to rush to a decision you may not like in the long run, whether that’s getting angry and leaving or trying to work things out with your husband to save your marriage. If you opt to try to save your marriage, I suggest you both consult a marriage/family counselor to better assess the strengths and weaknesses in your marriage, and then decide.
If you decide that you cannot reconcile with your husband, make sure you retain a good divorce lawyer so that your rights as a woman and a mother are protected during the divorce process.
Best of luck.
Dorothy.