LAUGH QUOTE
Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the World.
Marilyn Monroe
JOKE OF THE WEEK
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.” So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “All the men on this floor are short and ugly, they don’t have jobs and hate children.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here are short, but handsome, have decent jobs, and hate children.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here are tall and handsome, have well-paying jobs, don’t really care for children, but want to get married.”
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here are tall, handsome, have all the money in the world, are romantic and sensual, love children, are not jealous, and will marry you on the spot.” The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.”
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: What is the most impressive example of Tolerance?
WISE GUY: Ah! Golden Wedding Anniversary!
TEACHER AND STUDENT
Teacher: Write a short story in a few words discussing
Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.
Student wrote: “My God! I’m pregnant. I wonder who the father is?”
DATING JOKE
YOU MUST BE DRUNK
– Lady, have you been invited to dance?
– Oh, not yet. I’m free!
– Then please keep my beer…
CUTTING COMMENT
I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.
Coco Chanel
MARRIED LIFE
Man: I want to divorce my wife. She hasn’t spoken to me in 6 months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are very hard to find!