LAUGH QUOTE
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
Knock! Knock!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Isabell.
Isabell who?
Is a bell working?
Is Gets More Disgusting.
man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there’s a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, “Waitress, there’s a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!”
So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his dismay, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, “That’s disgusting!”
Then the waitress says, “You think that’s disgusting you should see him make donuts.”
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
Question: Is that yours???
Wise Guy: No, I stole it.
BUSINESS JOKE
Weather Forecast
The Indian Chief thought that it was going to be a bad winter so he sent all the braves out to collect wood. As he watched them return laden with timber from the forest he suddenly felt that he ought to check his forecast so he phoned the local met office.
“Tell me, is it going to be a bad winter?”
“Yes” said the forecaster, ” it will be a bad one”
So the Chief told the braves that they didn’t have enough wood and sent them back into the forest again. They returned with more wood but once again the Chief had doubts and he called the forecaster to confirm.
“It is going to be a really severe winter” replied the forecaster.
The Chief looked at the wood store, decided that more was required and the braves were dispatched back in to forest. The Chief called the forecaster. ”Are you sure it’s going to be a really severe winter?”
“Look” said the forecaster “it’s definitely going to be the worst winter on record – the Indians are gathering wood like crazy!”
CUTTING COMMENT
“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.” –Oscar Wilde
MARRIED LIFE
DREAM WORLD
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap.
After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight,” he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it, only to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams.”