LAUGH QUOTE
Virginity is like a soap bubble, one prick and it is gone.
WISE GUYS ANSWER TO STUPID QUESTION
QUESTION: What looks like half an apple?
WISE GUY: The other half.
TEACHER AND STUDENT
Mathematics
Teacher: if you had one thousand naira and asked your father for another thousand naira, how much would you have in total?
Student: One thousand naira.
Teacher: You don’t know your math.
Student: You don’t know my dad!
DATING JOKE
A girl tells her boyfriend:
– After our marriage I will let you kiss me where nobody else has kissed me.
– Where is that?
– In Hawaii.
CUTTING COMMENT
“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”
Oscar Levant
MARRIED LIFE
Three construction workers were eating lunch on construction beams some stories high. One was Mexican, another was Italian, and the last was American. Each was upset about the same lunch they always got: the Mexican – tacos, the Italian – spaghetti, and the American – sandwiches.
So, the Mexican said, “If I get tacos for lunch one more time, I will jump.” The Italian then said, “If I get spaghetti for lunch one more time, I’m gonna jump.” The American then said, “If I get a sandwich for lunch one more time, I’ll jump.”
The next day, the Mexican got tacos, the Italian got spaghetti, and the American got a sandwich, so all three jumped from the building. At their funerals, the three wives were seen attending:
The Mexican’s wife sobbed, “If I had known he didn’t want tacos for lunch I wouldn’t have packed him any!” The Italian’s wife cried, “If I had known he didn’t want spaghetti for lunch I wouldn’t have made it for him!” The American’s wife said, “Don’t look at me, he packed his own lunch