I am often pleasantly surprised when I want to write an article and an apt lyric of a popular song comes to mind. I had just come up with the title of this article when the lyrics of one of Tina Turner’s songs came to mind – “What’s Love Got to Do with It”:
What’s love got to do, got to do with it
What’s love but a second hand emotion
What’s love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken
There are so many broken hearts littered all over the place. Sisters have given men their hearts, their bodies, and all they have to give, yet they are left broken hearted. Why? O Why??
My dear sisters, how does one get and keep a man?
Do you have to be a raving beauty?
Do you have to be a sexy lady?
Do you have to pander to his every wish and caprice?
Do you have to pamper him always?
Do you have to be always honest with him?
Do you have to be there whenever he needs you?
Do you have to be ever loyal to him?
Do you have to care for him so much it hurts?
Do you have to dress to please him?
Do you have to spend a lot of time with him?
Do you have to provide for his needs in cash and kind?
Do you have to nearly kill yourself emotionally to be with him?
All these and more seem to be what it takes to get and keep a man. But as most of us know too well, it usually is not sufficient to keep any man.
“Are you kidding me?” I hear you shouting.
My sister, you could do all of the aforementioned things and more, with the very best of intentions and genuine feelings for a man, and he still goes on to break your heart.
Truth is, when it comes to matters of love and relationships between a man and a woman when they meet under whatever circumstances, no lady can tell which way the cookie will crumble to borrow an American phrase.
A relationship will pan out any which way it will. You can’t force a man to be with you. You can’t beg a man to stay with you. You can’t love a man into loving you. These are the reasons why you have to love with your head to protect your heart. Don’t jump in at the deep end when you meet a man. Take your time to get to know him better and determine if he is a cad or a gentleman. Keeping a cool head will keep you rational so that you can know when you are being played for a fool, enabling you to quit before you end up with a broken heart. Approaching a relationship with a man in a calm and collected manner helps you keep your emotions under control. It also keeps the man guessing and prompts him to be on his best behaviour. He will feel challenged to conquer you, and while at it may fall in love with you and want to be with you.
Sisters we have to love smart. We don’t need to have so many broken hearts crying in the rain so that people won’t see how deeply we are hurting.
By Nancy Hay