HOLY HUMOUR
SOME ONE-LINERS:
Who was the greatest female financer in the Bible?
Answer: Pharaoh’s daughter–she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
What kind of man was Boaz before he met Ruth?
Answer: Ruthless!!
Why didn’t Noah go fishing?
Answer: He only had two worms!
At what time of day was Adam born?
Answer: A little before Eve!
When was the radio first mentioned in the Bible?
Answer: When the Lord took a rib from Adam and made a loud speaker!
Why was Adam a famous runner?
Answer: Because he was first in the human race!
What do you get if you cross a praying mantis with a termite?
Answer: An insect that says grace as it eats your house!
What car is mentioned in the Bible?
Answer: HONDA. Because the Bible says the disciples were all in one ‘accord’!!
What good thing did Adam have going?
Answer: When he said something he knew nobody had said it before.
Some Classic Church Bulletin Bloopers
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m.
(Please use large double door at the side entrance.)
- Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7PM
(Please use the back door.)
THE SUNDAY JOKE
A man is stumbling through the bush totally drunk and then he comes upon a Bishop baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and subsequently bumps into the Bishop. The Bishop turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, ‘Are you ready to find Jesus?’
‘Yes I am’ replies the drunk, so the Bishop grabs him and deeps him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, Brother have you found Jesus?’
The drunk replies, ‘No, I haven’t.’ The Bishop, shocked with the answer, deeps him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, ‘Have you found Jesus, my brother?’
The drunk again answers, ‘No, I have not found Jesus.’
By this time the Bishop is worried and so he deeps the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.
When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs struggling for breath, the Bishop pulls him up. The Bishop asks the drunk again, ‘For the love of God, have you found Jesus?’
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the Bishop
‘Are you sure this is where JESUS fell in?’
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