HOLY HUMOUR
Mistaken Identity
A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard, when suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing and stopped, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After several hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘Choose Life’ license plate, the ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ bumper sticker, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.
Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car.
THE SUNDAY JOKE
ATHEIST
A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
“Because, I’m not an atheist.”
Then, asks the teacher, “What are you?”
“I’m a Christian.”
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks her why she is a Christian.
“Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, my dad is a Christian, and my grandparents are too, so I am a Christian.”
The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly.
“What if your mom and your dad were idiots. And what if your grandparents were idiots? What would you be then?”
She paused, smiled and said, “Oh, I guess that I’d be an atheist!”