Given the history and culture of patriarchy in Nigerian society, today’s women and their independence have profound effects on the men in their lives for better or worse. In this article, we examine some of these issues.
An independent woman brings to a relationship her own needs and circumstances which any man involved with her cannot ignore or wish away. If she already has her career going, any man getting into a relationship with her has to adjust to this reality. Today’s independent woman is not about to give up her career for the sake of any man. It is up to the man to accept this and adjust accordingly.
Most of today’s women have very good incomes from their career. In cases where the woman earns more than her man, this may bring about some kind of friction in the relationship when the man cannot deal with the income disparity between him and his woman. He may feel some sense of inadequacy because of the income disparity.
Where their earnings are on par, other issues may still come into play such as:
- Who pays for what.
- If both individuals should pull finances together to meet responsibilities that affect both of them.
- The woman may want to spend her money as she deems fit without consulting with the man.
Quite a number of men are not able to deal with the successful independent woman and feel that they should not relate to them as equals. They think that a woman must be under a man as “God intended for things to be.” The Big Boss intended for the man to be the head of the household and the family, so it does not matter whether a woman earns more or is on par with his earnings, she must be subject to him.
Men, to be honest with ourselves, most independent women don’t subscribe to this line of reasoning. They want to be co-equals, and today’s woman needs things beside the home and husband to keep her happy and fulfilled. How can today’s man subdue his ego and reach a workable compromise?
- Let us start by agreeing that we want our partner to be happy because if she is happy, chances are that the home will be peaceful.
- Since today’s woman finds fulfilment in other things beside the home, we should find a way to accept this as the norm of the times and not feel hard put by it.
- We should be open in discussing and agreeing on the terms of endearment in our relationship with the independent woman.
- Having reached an understanding, we should do well to stick to the agreements.