For the past three weeks, this column has focused on the issue of infidelity in relationships. This Friday, it remains on the same subject but seeks to directly answer the question – “Why do men cheat?”
It is a unanimous agreement that when it comes to cheating, men are more likely to cheat than women. But here’s the irony; although far more men cheat, men are less forgiving of their partners who cheat on them – women, on the other hand, are far more accommodating.
Still, this doesn’t take away from the fact that infidelity could cause the disintegration of a relationship, coupled with the feeling of distrust and low self-esteem the wronged partner carries around like a dead weight.
So why do men cheat, intentionally? There are a plethora of reasons, but emotional attachment isn’t one of them.
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Lack of Self Control
Sex is the second greatest ‘drug’ after money and the number one reason why most men lose their sanity. Those who lack the ability and finesse in controlling their urges give in to the trap of visual enticement whenever the opportunity presents itself. Their ability to engage without prior emotional attachment also boosts the likelihood of them ignoring familial warning signs.
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Unhappy Marriage
An unhappy marriage may tempt a man into having an affair. When a man is not happy in his marriage, he may seek comfort outside and in this case, it’s the warmth of another woman. The solution to this is to communicate; a marriage void of communication is bound to lead to an unhappy co-habitation for both partners.
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The Past Desires
As the years go by, most men who are advancing in age find themselves craving their youthful pleasures and desires. They wonder if women other than their partner find them attractive and if they still have the Casanova charm. And he may curiously try to prove to himself that he’s still in the ‘game’, attracting an affair with women who are willing to hype his ego.
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Their Incessant Need For Variety
A number of men are prone to using this dismissive slang: “Man no go de chop vegetable soup every day” despite its offensive connotation of treating and likening women to meals that can be shared, passed around or discarded. These men go from pillar to post in search of variety. Men in this category see sex as fun and games; one woman is not good enough for them; they toy with the emotions of women with no intention of having any concrete relationship with them.
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Environmental Influence
It is said that an apple does not fall far from its tree. When a child grows up in a home where his father is openly promiscuous and his mother learns to live with it, and the society seems to approve of it, the likelihood of towing the same lines is higher than someone who grew up in a loving home. It takes a man who has been exposed to a different life to break free of that mental programming.
These are some of the reasons men cheat. But this doesn’t take away the fact that infidelity has its consequences – many men have lost their reputation, peace of mind, wealth, and health as a result.