Sex is used as the solution for many relationship problems. There are many unmet expectations when it comes to sex. Here are some of the things sex doesn’t do:
1. Intimacy
Just because you have sexual chemistry and attraction doesn’t mean you have intimacy. Sex is a form of physical intimacy but not intimacy in its entirety. Physical intimacy includes other things like touch, hugs, kissing, playing, eye contact, and talking. Another aspect of intimacy is emotional intimacy. Although sex can include both, it is not the only form of intimacy. In fact, it is a result of intimacy and rarely the cause.
2. Relationship issues fixer
Unless sex is the problem, it can not fix other relationship problems. Relationship conflict that is not rooted in sex cannot be solved by sex. It can give relief from the conflict but it is not therapy or an effective communication style to resolve conflict.
3. Relationship saviour
Breakup sex is a popular term, but along with sleeping with an ex to get back together and “improving your game” to keep a relationship, it doesn’t save relationships. Whatever problems a couple has had to be addressed directly and not under the guise of sexual intimacy.
4. Bad sex leads to cheating
A lack of communication and an absence of nurturing the relationship bond leads to cheating. If partners are on the same page about their needs and work to find common ground, then cheating is unlikely to happen. So saying that the lack of sex and poor quality leads to cheating is merely an excuse.
5. Sex gets better
The sparks and chemistry in new relationships can set the standard for sex. But it is not realistic to expect it to be that way. This doesn’t mean there’s a glass ceiling on the quality of sex, but other relationship qualities come in to determine. Connection, compatibility, and communication are key to preserving a thriving sex life.