Just as I was rounding up at the Pancake Hub, packing up to go home, I heard from a distance voices rising and heated argument raging on, drawing close and closer and my survival antennas came to life and I was about to take to my heels. I look up a group of youngsters were approaching, hot on this topic.
Very pretty young girls and a guy -good looking too. Wow! The grammar coming out was something else. For their looks I put down my bags and sat back, knowing that these youngsters are probably coming from school and wanted to brunch on pancakes.
I sat back and the argument kept raging on and they forgot to place their orders, somehow I was not in a hurry for them to place their orders because I wanted to hear what the rage was all about.
So I knew instantly to play dumb and like almost forming to be a stranger.
In awe of their brilliant argument, I watched these young people and discovered that they are lawyers, very young lawyers but also very fierce and bold.
The only guy amongst them was the more aggressive of the conversation as he was trying to get his point through.
The girls were on him not making it easy at all. He was defending a friend whom they felt in his silence he gave an approval.
The conversation was hot, RAPE….
The argument is a girl raped should not be asked to stay silent.
So it happened that someone shared an experience where she called out an establishment for arguing that girls get raped because of their own making. Women who flaunt themselves by the very fashion they were are asking for it, etc. Well it all sounds very familiar, same line of argument when it comes to rape cases, often turning the victim to be the culprit. What a pathetic lame excuse even from those who know better.
So for these youngsters it was quite hypocritical that such an establishment should come after someone. In their words “witch haunt” the bold one that called them out for their stand on dress codes or stay silent.
Gradually I began to understand why the only guy with them is under fire!
He was trying to explain things from a male perspective without loosing the fact that RAPE is evil. He tried so hard. One of the ladies told him that it seems to be the order of the day that when its a man the rules are different as opposed to it being a woman.
The issue here became – Why do men hold an oath of silence when it comes to rape?
Hmmmmm. When the guy seemed like he was taking too much heat, he said, “You guys are getting me wrong. All I am saying its bad enough but you can’t drag down an establishment for a single man’s act.” That seemed to pour more gas into the fire…
Somehow it dawned on them that they had to grab something to eat.
With that realisation one of the fine ladies roars out ” IS ANYONE EVEN ATTENDING TO US”
I still sat so quietly not wanting them to know I was working here too. Orders placed, she walks right back into the talk like she never left.
Their voices were so high but guess what I didn’t mind because I wanted to feel the energy. Just watching these brilliant young people speaking with such passion I came to understand that when an opinion is not let out it could become an eruption some day.
I was so tempted to air my views with them, but do I dare…?
My take…
Rape is evil in every form and in any manner. The society we are in has culturally forced us to silence that is so loud and I see that very soon it won’t be so. This is because these young ones, just like the SHERO who spoke up, they bring some hope at refusing to be cowed into a silence that is in itself a gross injustice.
Till I write again I love you for reading.
Ada.
Adaobi O.Alex-Oni is an Honorary Ambassador and a recipient of the Nelson Mandela Leadership Award by the African Youth Parliament. A broadcaster and writer, she is the convener of the ROWEAD conference. A social and women’s rights activist, she is a promoter of the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals. For more information, visit her website www.rowead.org
3 Comments
Well spoken Ambassador. Oni. Keep on speaking up!
intriguing topic. Very deep. I feel like you just touched the tip of the iceberg. The topic is very sensitive and naturally evokes deep emotions, a variety of emotions, hence the passion demonstrated by the youngsters you so well captured in your reflection. It is a topic that, sadly gets discussed openly and objectively. It will be interesting to explore what your audience thinks as well as feels about this topic. One thing stands out for me on this topic… Its an abuse of the other. How many of us condone abuses on others, How can one objectively excuse or make excuses for such abuse. Where and When does personal responsibility start and stop? Thank you for raising awareness to the elephant in the room. Keep up the good work.
It’s a beautifu piece. Welldone.