As the cock crowed the third time, he remembered and in shame he dashed out of the courtyard and wept like a baby, feeling probably what we can only imagine to be the worst. How on earth did Peter forget, even after he was given an insight by his Master that it would happen, he brag had argued earlier on, even had the audacity to admonish his Master, “Lord please don’t say that, how can I deny you? Please sir, say another thing. Me, eh me that I know, me Peter deny you, You Jesus, you My Master! Oga that means you don’t even know me!”
Sounds too familiar? Have you ever found yourself boasting how strong you are in certain situations? However, you find that just as with Peter, your own crock crow won’t even get to the second one you have fallen like a pack of cards.
“Babe stop!” He kept saying! “Don’t go that route you will suffer a heartbreak, I am telling you! It’s not an easy feeling to bear. Your world will be turned upside down, you can’t eat, you can’t think probably and you can do very silly and crazy things…”
“Please Bob don’t even tell me that!” She strongly and confidently yells at him. There has been a heated argument raging from across two phone lines.
“The problems with you as a man you think yourself a god, you think you have the strong will to make me hurt abi? OK let’s see. You don’t know me, I will so move on from you that you will regret ever letting me go..” The confidence of Peter!
Just hours after that conversation, Susan gets home, went about doing her normal stuff. A few hours down she realizes her phone has not rang, She says, “Bob! I’m sure He would soon call to confirm I got home safely. An hour beginning to move to more hours no phone call. So she sends a message. I’m safely home! Minutes, hours went by not a response from Bob. A sharp pain shoots through her heart, the chest almost exploding she held up her head and wondered what happened? How is he so unmoved by her text? A million question races through her mind. The pain became unbearable; the night seemed not to end. The phone became a vigil item, Susan would stare at the phone praying that Bob would just call back to say something but it didn’t happen. Finally morning emerged from a night that seemed so dark that Susan thought morning would never come. What will this morning bring?
I’m just going to mind my business and shut my mouth, Bob brooding to himself,” I can’t go through this nonsense, she simply does not listen to me each time I try to communicate with her, she shuts me up, so completely rude, can’t she even see the love I have for her and each time she behaves in that way its like calling me a fool and throws my love right back at me.”
Bob was definitely evoking the spirit of the greatest egocentric male known to have lived. Oedipus the god! Bob’s Oedipus Rex was building up, his ego bruised by a mare fragile version of humanity. “No, I can’t take this anymore,” he muses on. “At this point I will just let her be, am going to call her or take her calls, let her just be and feel what its like to be ignored.” That was all he needed to build a strength that would determine the rest of their love.
Bob woke up feeling dazed and empty at the thought of how Susan must be feeling, at how hurt she must be, he wanted so much to call her back but his ego stood in the way, he wished she would show up at his place and bring some peace to his aching heart but no he shook the feeling off! No! I’m not ready to do this now. He picks up his car key to drive out but stops at the door and thinks, what if she comes….
My take. Peter was not the strongest of character, betrayed his master, faithlessly walked on the sea and he almost drowned, selfishly wanted to remain up in the mountain at the transfiguration suggesting to His Master that they build a tent for Elijah, Moses and for his Master so they could remain there.
In all these weakness he was crowned the chief Shepherd of his Master’s flock, the one the key to the kingdom was given, the rock on whom the legacy of this Christ was built. The Universal Church Was Christ a fool? To hand over such unlimited power to the very man who betrayed him…well you will say that’s why He is the Christ. No! What happened here was Jesus saw what the rest of us did not see. In this weak, feeble man lies an innocent heart, a sweet soul. His heart was very pure that Christ gave such enormous duty to tend the flock. Our Lord knew that Peter’s Heart could safeguard love unconditionally and give with empathy.
In the innocence of love, we loose the essence of it. Why do hearts ache, get broken and endlessly sad when a lover withdraws from the normal things that was shared in the relationship.
Life shows us time and time again that in every weakness there is strength, yes there is strength if only it is pure, genuine and trusting.
Never let your ego get the better of you in relationships. Pride has no place in love. Do not be ashamed to apologies. We all need love.
Till I write again, I love you for reading.
Ambassador Adaobi Alex-Oni writes from Lagos.