My dear son,
When you were growing up, I know you sometimes thought that your old man was a mean, tough, uncaring bastard because of the strict discipline I imposed on you.
But seeing how you have turned out a fine young man, educated and holding down a responsible and well-paid job, I am sure you are grateful that I did not indulge or excuse any of your bad behaviours when you were growing up.
You have seen how Deji your friend in Secondary School is turning out. An only child. His parents loved him dearly and provided for all his needs. In fact, they gave him everything he asked for, pampered him and never let him do any household chores. He grew up with a nanny at his beck and call. His parents were even at his beck and call.
Today, Deji is 27-years-old and has still not graduated from University. He is causing his parents much anxiety because of the company he keeps. Recently I bumped into his parents at a party and asked after their son. His father said that because they loved him so much when he was growing up that Deji is so self-centered and very selfish. He thinks that everything should be about him. Deji’s father expressed his worry and disappointment at the way Deji’s life is turning out.
Research has shown that children who are overindulged have a distorted sense of entitlement. They learn early on to manipulate their parents to get what they want. But what appears to be parents’ genuine “love” for their children actually does more harm than good. This so-called love may even condemn a spoiled child to live a dysfunctional life as an adult.
My son, I did not want to raise a spoiled brat, and that was why I took no prisoners when it came to disciplining you when you were out of order while you were growing up. Now you are an adult, I trust you can now fully appreciate why I did that. I am not a mean, tough, uncaring bastard.
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