Dear Dorothy,
I’m 23, and my boyfriend of two years is 26. I’ve been trying to get pregnant for several months without success. What can I do to find out if I’m infertile? We don’t have money for a gynaecologist or fertility clinic. Please advise on how I should go about getting pregnant without recourse to medical help.
My Dear,
I am at loss to understand why you are so desperate to get pregnant. Is your boyfriend in agreement with your plan to have a baby, or are you trying to get pregnant to trap him into staying with you? The days are gone when a man will stay with a woman just because she is pregnant. If you get pregnant and he breaks up with you, then what?
Are you able to cope with a child on your own?
You shouldn’t try to get pregnant until you are sure it is what both you and your boyfriend want, and certain that the both of you are ready for the level of responsibility that having a child demands. It may sound like a romantic idea, but raising a child is hard work, and this sometimes strains relationships to breaking point.
If you are both ready for the responsibility of a child, I think you should take it one step at a time. I strongly suggest that you both commit to a life together by getting married so that you can both bring up a child in a secure family environment.
To find out why you haven’t yet conceived, your boyfriend may need to have his sperm clinically evaluated, which will include a sperm count. You may also need to have a gynaecological evaluation to ascertain that there are no physiological problems preventing you from getting pregnant. I am afraid that there are costs associated with these tests and you have to raise the funds some way or the other to undergo them.
However, my guess is that your anxiety to have a baby may also be interfering with your ability to get pregnant. So take it easy, and allow nature take its course once you have reached a proper understanding with your boyfriend on your need to have a baby.
Best of luck!
Photo-Credit: telegraph.co.uk