Dear Dorothy,
I have been dating a man on and off for the past three years. During this period he asked me to marry him on more than one occasion, but I turned down his proposals because I wanted to be sure he was the right man for me. The second time he asked me to marry him I said I wasn’t ready for marriage. Soon after, he asked his ex to marry him. I was a bit disappointed in him, but it turned out he did not end up marrying his ex for reasons not known to me.
Recently he came on so strong, telling me he loved me and wanted to get back together. I agreed but after two weeks we had a huge fight. Two days later I found out he tried to take his life. I feel it’s my fault he ended up in hospital.
He says he loves me and can’t live without me but I no longer feel the same about him. I’m afraid to tell him how I feel as he might do something to harm himself. Please Dorothy, what should I do?
My Dear,
A man who insists on trying to make you jealous, and goes to pieces whenever you have a fight isn’t very mature. He seems to think marrying you is the only way to be sure of you, which also suggests immaturity. You can’t stay with him just because you’re afraid he’ll hurt himself if you are not with him.
In my honest opinion, since you no longer have any feelings for him, you have to find a way to break up the relationship. However, you need to go easy on him because of his fragile state of mind. If you both have a mutual friend who can explain that you do care for him not as a lover anymore but as a friend, it might help. You could also write him a letter along the same lines.
Having made the decision to end the relationship, you have to avoid starting up again. He may try to blackmail you that he will kill himself if you leave him or any such talk.
Stick to your resolve. Good luck.
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