Dear Dorothy,
I’ve been struggling with something that I can’t seem to shake off. A few months ago, I was offered a chance to speak at a major industry event, a platform I’ve dreamed of for years. But at the time, I was overwhelmed with work, lacked confidence, and convinced myself I wasn’t ready. So I declined.
Since then, I’ve seen others in my field take up similar opportunities and grow in visibility, while I feel like I’m standing still. I can’t stop thinking about what might have been if I had said yes. I feel like I failed myself, and now I’m scared I’ve missed my one big break.
How do I move past this feeling of regret and self-blame?
— Rose
Dear Rose,
First, let me assure you that your feelings are valid. Regret has a way of echoing through our minds, especially when it’s tied to something deeply personal, like a long-held dream. But before you let this one moment define your entire journey, let’s pause.
Missing one opportunity does not mean you’ve missed them all. Life, contrary to what the pressure says, rarely gives us just one shot. It gives us seasons: some for preparation, others for blooming. You made a choice based on where you were emotionally and mentally at the time. That’s not failure. That’s self-awareness.
Instead of dwelling on the door that closed, ask yourself: What did that moment teach you? Was it about readiness? Courage? Boundaries? Growth often hides in the shadows of our regrets, waiting to be noticed.
Here’s what you can do now:
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Reframe the moment as a stepping stone, not a stumbling block.
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Stay ready: Work on your confidence, sharpen your skills, and keep showing up.
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Speak up: Let those around you know you’re open to future opportunities.
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Forgive yourself: You didn’t sabotage your dream, you paused it.
The beautiful truth is: opportunities don’t expire. They evolve. And now, with this experience, you’ll be more prepared to say yes next time, boldly and without hesitation.
Hold on to hope. You haven’t missed the train, you’re just waiting at a different station.
With warmth and belief in you,
Dorothy