Dear Dorothy,
I have been married for eight years and have three children with my husband whom I love so much.
However, a few weeks ago, a manager at my place of work started to confide in me on the problems he was having with his wife. He said his wife is a quarrelsome nag and he wanted advice on how to deal with his matrimonial challenges.
As our lunchtime conversation progressed over the weeks, he told me that he is attracted to me and asked me how I felt about him. I quickly broke off the conversation and went back to my workstation.
I know that my husband will be mightily upset if he ever found out that I have been having lunch in our work canteen over several weeks with another man and that the man had made a pass at me. My husband can be quite jealous and possessive and this might affect our relationship.
I do not want to hurt the man I love, however, I have started growing feelings of attraction to my lunch companion. I know that I should not do anything foolish and destroy my marriage.
Dorothy, please how can I stop myself from straying?
My Dear,
It is not advisable to flirt with another man as a married woman. This can lead to unintended consequences. Although it is a known fact that most people flirt a bit even at work, but the challenge is to make sure the flirting stays platonic.
Being cheated on is not nice and the hurt party quite often finds it hard to deal with such betrayal. You have mentioned in your email that your husband can be jealous and possessive and from this, one can infer that if he discovers you’re in a relationship with another man, it may lead to the end of your marriage.
My advice is for you is to let your head rule your heart. You have three young children and you are married. You may be flattered that someone apart from your husband is attracted to you but you should not let this lead you into an affair that may wreck your marriage.
It is also necessary that you stop your lunch meetings with your work companion to avoid temptation. It is best to avoid complicating one’s life with a fleeting affair since as you say you do love your husband.