Dear Dorothy,
A junior colleague is in competition with me. She needs advice and mentoring on everything. Because of the nature of our job, she does not have much situational awareness. Despite offering all the support I can give, and sharing information it took years to acquire, she is continuously questioning my choices and she carefully selects ways to cast a shadow on my work. How can I defend myself without withdrawing support?
Yours Faithfully,
P.K
Dear P.K,
Self-defence might not be the right approach. Since you know a lot about the area you work in, the whole value chain and the people involved, you should be proud of your expertise and experience. Allowing an external, young and dynamic “force” to challenge your status quo might not be all that bad.
Working in organisational development, I see that what we often perceive as “competition” is a simple mirror held to us for considering other options and different perspectives. As long as you are in defence, you focus on explaining yourself and showing the value of your approach, and that takes a lot of energy out of you.
If you can truly open up to listen deeply (to understand the person and what she brings) and engage with the new that is being proposed by the new colleague, you’ll find yourself in a genuine and professional exchange that could result in benefits for both of you. Instead of assuming what the colleague’s intentions are, engage in meaningful conversations…. your energy will be redirected to be more constructive and a real mentor.
Examine your own reactions, and what triggers them: is it really what she says or how you interpreted what she wanted to say, have you given time to consider the different options she proposes, what is it inside of you that opposes this newcomer, to the person? To what she represents, or to the different solutions she brings? etc.
Organisations, in whatever field they work, need “fresh intakes” and new perspectives as much as they need the expertise, experience and organisational memory of the mentors to build on. Two can play the game.
Yours Sincerely,
Dorothy