Dear Dorothy,
I’m lonely and looking for love, but just don’t fancy the one guy I know is interested in me. He’s lovely, very cheerful and generous, but I can’t imagine being intimate with him. I crave a complete relationship, not another friend as I have plenty of those. I long for cuddles, kisses and sex. My sister says I should give this chap a chance, but it would be wrong to lead him on. He recently said he’d be happy with any kind of association, just as long as I’m in his life, but I just can’t. Am I crazy to turn him down?
Yours Truly,
S.Y
Dear S.Y,
If you don’t find him attractive; if you can’t imagine yourself growing to love him, then you have to set him free and be truthful about your feelings. It’s not fair to keep him dangling when he could be looking for a partner elsewhere. He’ll be disappointed and maybe a little embarrassed, but honesty is the best policy.
Your sister may think you’re being silly, but if you really don’t desire him, then you don’t. You can’t fake your feelings or force yourself to be with him if the spark really isn’t there. Concentrate now on widening your circle of friends; get out; set yourself challenges and push yourself into new situations. You’re never going to find someone suitable to stay at home. We have to be proactive for things to happen.
Yours Truly,
Dorothy