Dear Dorothy,
I’ve been in a relationship for several years now, and at the beginning, we made promises of eternal love and commitment to each other. However, as time has passed, I’ve come to realise that my feelings have changed. I no longer feel the same level of love and passion for my partner, and I’m struggling with the guilt of not being able to fulfil the promise of loving them forever. How do I navigate this situation without hurting my partner too much?
Sincerely,
Anita
Dear Anita,
It is understandable to feel conflicted when your feelings change in a long-term relationship. Promises made in the past can weigh heavily on your conscience when circumstances evolve. Here are some steps you can take to navigate this delicate situation:
- Reflect on your feelings: Take some time to introspect and understand your emotions. Are these feelings temporary, or do they indicate a deeper change in your relationship dynamics?
- Communication is key: Honest communication is vital in any relationship. Sit down with your partner and express your feelings openly and respectfully. Let them know that your emotions have evolved and that you are struggling with reconciling your current feelings with past promises.
- Seek understanding: Understand that your partner might feel hurt or confused initially. Give them the space to process their emotions and ask questions. Be prepared to listen actively and empathise with their perspective.
- Explore options together: Discuss possible solutions together. This could involve seeking couples counselling to explore your relationship dynamics further or mutually deciding on a way forward that respects both of your emotional well-being.
- Practice self-compassion: It is essential to be kind to yourself during this process. Acknowledge that feelings can change over time, and it’s okay to reassess your emotional needs and priorities.
Remember, relationships evolve, and it’s essential to prioritise honesty and respect in navigating these changes. It may be challenging, but addressing these feelings openly can lead to greater understanding and growth for both you and your partner.
Best wishes,
Dorothy