Dear Dorothy,
I’m struggling with feelings of disappointment and shame. I had to withdraw from my postgraduate degree due to a long-term health issue. It wasn’t a decision I took lightly, but continuing was no longer feasible, physically or mentally. I see friends moving ahead with their careers and finishing their degrees, and I feel stuck, like I’ve let myself and others down. I can’t help but feel like a failure. How do I come to terms with this and move forward?
— Lovelyn
Dear Lisa,
First, let me say this clearly: you are not a failure. Choosing to prioritise your health, your very survival and wellbeing, is not weakness; it’s courage in its rawest form. Life has a way of throwing us curveballs, and while it’s natural to grieve the loss of a goal, that grief does not define your worth or your future.
It’s easy to compare your journey to others’, especially in a society that often equates success with academic or professional milestones. But behind every certificate and title are untold personal battles, compromises, and timelines. Yours just happens to be a different but no less valid path.
You took a step back, not because you gave up, but because you listened to your body. That is wisdom many overlook. Recovery, be it physical, mental, or emotional, takes time, and you deserve the same compassion you’d offer a friend in your position.
Now, practically speaking, it’s worth asking yourself: does this mean the end of your academic aspirations, or simply a pause? Many universities offer options to defer, reapply, or adjust your study load based on health. And even if returning to academia isn’t on the cards, your skills, insights, and lived experience still have enormous value in the world beyond formal education.
Start by being kind to yourself. Acknowledge the grief, but don’t live in it. Rebuild slowly, one small goal at a time. Seek support from others who’ve navigated similar terrain. You are not alone, and this chapter does not define your entire story.
With warmth and hope,
Dorothy