Dear Dorothy,
I feel so foolish and heartbroken. A few months ago, I met someone online who seemed genuine. He was kind, attentive and appeared to care deeply about me. We talked every day, and I began to trust him. Eventually, he told me about a business deal he was working on and said he just needed a little financial help to seal it. I sent him some money, not a small amount either.
After that, his messages became less frequent until he vanished completely. His phone number stopped going through, and I later discovered the pictures he used weren’t even his. I’ve been scammed. I feel angry, embarrassed, and used. How do I move past this and learn to trust again?
– Preye
Dear Preye,
First, take a deep breath. You are not alone, and you are not foolish. Many intelligent, capable people have fallen prey to scams because they believed in the goodness of others. What you are feeling such as anger, shame, disbelief is natural. Grief follows betrayal, especially when money and emotions intertwine.
The first step is to forgive yourself. You acted out of trust, not ignorance. The blame belongs entirely to the person who deceived you. Next, report the incident to the authorities or relevant cybercrime unit. Even if you don’t recover your money, your report could prevent others from being tricked.
Emotionally, take time to heal. Don’t rush to “get over it.” Talk to a trusted friend, counsellor or support group. Writing your feelings down can also help you process the hurt.
As for trust, it may feel impossible now, but it will rebuild gradually. When you meet new people, whether online or offline, take things slowly. Verify what can be verified, and listen to your instincts. Genuine relationships will not pressure you for money or exploit your empathy.
Remember, this experience, painful as it is, does not define you. It simply reminds you to guard your heart and wallet with equal care.
With warmth,
Dorothy