Dear Dorothy
I recently discovered that my husband is having an affair with another woman. I feel so hurt by his actions! It has also given rise to a lot of self-doubt in me.
The fact Dorothy is that I take good care of myself. I hold a high profile position in a big advertising firm, and in our industry you have to look good. I am seriously tempted to find out if I am still attractive by dating some other guy. Furthermore, because he cheated, I want to get back at him and give him a dose of his own medicine. Cheating on him will be my vengeance, my chance to even the playing field and teach him that two can tango separately. What do you think?
My dear,
There is no good excuse to cheat. There may be reasons that can make you want to cheat, but should you actually succumb to such temptation? One should pause to think of consequences first. Is it worth losing all you have just because you want to prove a point? You say you want to boost your ego by having an affair – proving that you are still attractive. But an ego boost can be as simple as catching a man’s eye and he comments on your being attractive. That should be the entire ego boost you need, the rest should come from your significant other. If there is a need for more, then be mature about it and save the chaos and simply end the relationship with your significant other before jumping into bed with another. If you find that you are not likely to forgive your husband’s philandering and would rather not be with him, then it will be wiser to end the relationship before starting another. If it is over then don’t prolong things or make things worse by embarking on an affair while still married. Despite your husband’s actions, I do believe that the vows taken during the marriage ceremony is sacred.
I suggest that before you take any decision one way or another, you and your husband should have a frank and open discussion as to where you find your relationship and what can be done to remedy the situation. Only both of you can change it from the rot that is your marriage at present. If he cheated on you, two wrongs don’t make a right, no matter if you feel you are justified or not. It’s not to say we can’t look, but it’s another when you begin to touch, then it becomes a whole new ball game, andone may not be able to determine how the game will end or the resultant negative scores.