Dear Dorothy,
I work with a man who is happily married and expecting his first child in a couple of months. I have known him for about six years, and we are very good friends.
I am happily married but am worried by sexual dreams I’ve recently been having, in which I fantasise about him. I have no wish to spoil either of our lives by ever allowing these dreams to become reality and wish they would stop. Do I need to distance myself from his friendship?
Yours sincerely,
T.E
Dear T.E,
You’ve made it clear that you have no intention of acting upon these fantasies, so what would you gain by stepping away from your friend? Good friends are hard to come by and are worth their weight in gold, so please don’t act rashly here. I see no reason why you shouldn’t go on trusting yourself to act sensibly and treat these dreams for what they are – dreams and fantasies, no more.
If you think there is something wrong in your own life though, it might be worth exploring some of these fantasies – by thinking about them, I mean – to see if there’s something you feel you’re missing out on with your husband. It might also be worth arranging a get-together for you all as two couples, so you get to know his wife and he gets to know your husband, as I think that might help you too.
Yours Truly,
Dorothy