Dear Dorothy,
I am facing a major dilemma in my life. I am 30 years old and in a relationship with a married man. He is in his early fourties with three children. The relationship has been on for about 3 years. A few weeks ago, I confirmed that I am about 6 weeks pregnant with his child. I understand having an affair with a married man is morally wrong, but, I was lonely and desperate for love.
I have informed him about my pregnancy and he says he supports any decision I take, but I’m a little nervous to tell him I want to keep the baby because I think he prefers that I have an abortion. I don’t know how he’ll react if I keep the baby despite his assurance that he supports any stance I take.
I would very much like it if he was a part of my life after the baby is born. He says he loves me and is not happy in his marriage, but he is not divorced either.
I feel that my pregnancy is going to make things even more complicated and stressful. I think I could do it without him, but I’d rather not. I am so confused, what should I do? Please advice.
My Dear,
You love this man; he says he loves you. He is married with 3 children. He is still living with his wife and children even though he claims he is not happy in his marriage. You are pregnant with his baby. You think he’ll prefer it if you get an abortion but you want to have the baby.
This is how I see this panning out: you go through with the pregnancy and have your baby; he says he’s not happy with your decision but reluctantly accepts; he stays with his wife and children, regardless; you have to figure out how to care for yourself and your child going forward and make a life without him if you don’t want to put your life on hold.
My dear, he is not going to leave his wife despite ‘not being happy with her’, according to you. So, keep your head up and map out a plan for you and your child without him. Don’t depend on him being by your side to see you through this; you can make it on your own.
We all face some degree of adversity that shapes our lives and future decisions. I pray God gives you the insight and determination to make the right decisions. May he guide you through this seeming troubling time.
Good luck.