I just realized I’m six weeks pregnant. I have always wanted to get married and start a family and raise children in a stable relationship. The problem is that my boyfriend whom I have had a relationship with for about 3 years is controlling, abusive and quick to anger. We have discussed getting married but I have always hesitated because I am not sure I can cope with an abusive relationship long term.
Whenever we have had issues, I do my best to end the relationship. However, he will make out he is very sorry about his behavior, apologizing and begging me to forgive him. And because I love him, we make up and carry on till the next incident. This has been the backing and forting over these past few years.
Dorothy, getting pregnant had made me stop and evaluate our relationship. I don’t know think any child deserves to be raised in an unstable home as I think this will affect the child adversely. I
I don’t think I can marry my boyfriend, as know that I cannot cope with his nature. I am between and betwixt as to:
• Have an abortion – get rid of the pregnancy.
• Go though with the pregnancy and keep the baby.
• Have the baby and give him/her up for adoption.
Please advice.
My Dear,
An abuse relationship is not something one should be in or contemplate suffering and staying in for whatever reason. It is not healthy for the party being abused to stay in one. In this regard, I think you have made the right decision to end the relationship with your boyfriend even though you are carrying his baby.
Now what is important is the welfare of you and your unborn child. I am not one to advocate abortion unless there is a threat to the life of the mother from the pregnancy. And lets be clear, this is my personal opinion borne out of having firsthand experience of the harrowing experiences most couple looking for the fruit of the womb go through as they seek ways and means to conceive and have a child year in year out. So when I see anyone who is pregnant and wants to terminate it, I always urge her not to do so but to go through with the pregnancy and see if they can keep the baby and care for the child effectively and where this is not feasible give the baby up for adoption.
There are many loving and capable couples out there that are looking for a baby to adopt and care for.
What ever you decide to do, I wish you the best. Good luck.