Dear Dorothy,
My wife and I have been married for over twelve years and we’ve had a blissful union until the past several months. I noticed my wife isn’t as respectful as she used to be; these days, she treats me with some measure of disdain.
I have also noticed that she paints me in a bad light to her family members and friends.
I have taken time to examine myself to figure out if I’m the cause of her change in attitude and behaviour but I can’t seem to identify where I’ve erred.
A few months ago, she landed a well-paying job and has made friends with a few of her work colleagues who I do not approve of because they are usually preoccupied with mundane issues like fashion trends, hairstyles, etc
I am not happy with the way my marriage is going. What can I do to make my wife loving and respectful as she once was?
My Dear,
Every marriage has its challenges. When one has been married for a long time, you may find yourself wondering if you made the right choice of partner. This feeling can sometimes lead to the action you are describing in your mail.
However, I do think that no matter the turbulence in the relationship, couples ought to treat one another with dignity and respect. No matter what is going on in your relationship, respect is non-negotiable.
There is no justification for any partner to get annoyed and hurl insults at your partner because they failed you at one thing or the other.
Going forward, rather than remain in the realm of speculation: wondering what has gone wrong with your marriage, I think you should have a heart-to-heart discussion with your spouse. Tell her that you are very distraught and upset with her disrespectful language, attitude, dismissiveness, or arrogance and you want an end to it. See what she says and come to the understanding of how to relate to each other in a civilized and loving manner.
I always advise couples not to speak in a denigrating manner about their spouse to third parties. There is nothing to gain by this. The effort put into talking to outsiders about your spouse should rather be channelled into talking to each other and ironing out your differences.
I hope this works out for you both and you get your marriage back on track. Good luck.