Dear Carla,
After a bitter breakup with my ex-girlfriend, I ran into serious depression. I found out she got married to another person via social media. All the while we were still dating, I didn’t know she had other plans. She had always been insisting we got married sooner but I told her to wait a bit.
Knowing that I wasn’t financially buoyant, I had pleaded with her to allow me at least to change jobs with higher remuneration chances. I thought this went well with her. Unknown to me, she was double dating and ended up with another suitor. Her refusal to wait led to our constant quarrels then splitting up.
Hurting and feeling like a loser, I gave in drugs and alcohols to run away from the heartbrokenness. It has now become an addiction affecting other areas of my life. What can I do to overcome this addiction?
Yours sincerely,
Seun
Dear Seun,
How do you do? Thanks for speaking out. It is part of the healing process. Your ex-girlfriend may have put you through a lot. You should have been more aware to read signs of where your relationship was headed to. She would have given clues that something fishy and unpleasant was brewing. This is an eye-opener that you should be mindful of the kind of people you date. Never overlook trust and communication. If these don’t seat well, you may need to reevaluate your position to avoid future heartbreaks. This situation is not unique to you, people go through worse betrayals. Use the lessons to spur you to work harder to be more financially stable. It appears she left you because of your incapabilities. The best revenge is to prove her wrong by being a success regardless.
This is possible if you quit drugs and alcohol intake. Stay away from things or environments that would promote that lifestyle. Instead, surround yourself with people who support your abstinence. You should stop attending bars and clubs where drug abuse and alcoholism are encouraged. Talk to doctor, let them know your status on drug use. Discuss finding alternate means to manage your pain and depression.
You should also distract yourself with your hobbies. Read, visit good friends and family members, watch a movie, go to the gym. Do something that would take your mind off your addiction and pain. Whenever you are tempted to go back to your addition, remind yourself of the repercussions. Being cautious of what you stand to lose would retrace your steps.
Lastly, think and do positive things for your personal development. I hope this helps. All the best!
Yours truly,
Carla