Dear Dorothy,
I’m in my mid-twenties and a University graduate with a well-paying job. I have a girlfriend that I really love and we have been dating for three years. But I recently found out that she is cheating on me with my uncle that is rich. I am really upset about this because I love the girl so much. I don’t know to deal with the emotional turmoil that I am going through right now. What do you advise I do?
My Dear,
We suffer quietly through disloyalty from a partner, friend, or family member, and this can embed harmful emotions deeply into our being if we are not on our guard to master our feelings and emotions about the situation, avoiding it colouring how we view and relate to others in the future. Our trust in others erodes if we don’t process the reality of betrayal and work through its painful impressions. After one partner is unfaithful, we just can’t imagine our next love interest remaining loyal. But infidelity of any kind can bring about wisdom and invaluable lessons to be learned.
Cheating or betraying or anything a person does is a choice made by that person. You are a young upwardly mobile young man but it seems this is not good enough for your girlfriend who in my opinion is out for the “good things of life” and as a “material girl” cannot wait to get those things she desires by working hard for them. People just do not get manipulated into cheating, she wanted to cheat. So she did. She most likely had her eyes on your uncle for a lot longer than you think.
So one way or the other, your rich uncle and your girlfriend got together for their own personal reasons and made their choices by cheating or betraying you.
Ultimately, you are a human being and have human feelings and emotions. Betrayal is very painful but you have to find a way to deal with it so that you are able to move on and form other relationships. If you choose to chalk this down to experience and get on with your life, then you accept this as a fact of life but just don’t get angry about this particular episode. Calm yourself down and get a hold of your emotions. I know it is easier said than done, but there is no other way.
Do everything you can to help yourself heal and avoid your uncle and girlfriend. Ditch these kinds of people from your life. Meet new people. Make new friends. Date new people. Do things that make you happy and take your mind off all that has happened.
Choose to make yourself happy again.
It is good that you discovered the character of the person you were calling your girlfriend early on before the relationship had the chance to get deeper (for example marriage and children). You could have invested years with her before her true character and values were discovered.
End your relationship with her and get on with your life. Someone special will come into your life. Good luck.