Dear Dorothy,
I am 28 years old and I have discovered that my girlfriend who I’ve been dating for 2 years is a serial cheat. Worst still, it’s been with my some of my friends. I am so confused because I really love her and I’ve planned my future with her.
Common sense tells me to ditch her and put an end to the relationship because it will end badly. However, my heart has an opposing view of things; I feel I cannot do without her. Do you think I can get her to change her ways and be loyal to me? I want to be the one and only man in her life. Please advice.
My Dear,
Not only is your girlfriend constantly cheating on you, but she is also doing it with your friends. With friends like these, who needs enemies? If your friends were really your friends, they would have cared about your feelings before getting involved with your girl.
Infidelity is not in the preserve of the male species. We often fail to factor in the fact that women are as capable of lying and cheating to their boyfriends and spouses as men are.
Infidelity and cheating in any relationship is a sign that all is not well with the relationship. Mutual trust and understanding, which are the foundation of any relationship no longer, exists between the two of you.
Since you do not want to end the relationship and you are willing to forgive and move on as long as she gives up her cheating ways, I will advise that you have a heart to heart discussion with your girlfriend. Ask her whether she feels she has any control over her sexual impulses and if she gets any pleasure out of her sexual experiences as she may be sleeping around compulsively. If the answer is no, she may have a disorder that requires psychological treatment.
If on the other hand, she is not forthcoming and open with you in the discussions, I will ask that you let your head overrule your heart.
No matter how hard it may be for you to end this relationship, It is best that you do. End the relationship. Get over her and move on with your life. It is difficult to be sane when you’re constantly wondering where your loved one is. End the relationship for the sake of your mental and emotional health. Yes, you may feel broken hearted for a while, but I assure you that time is a great healer.
Look at the bright side. There are so many young girls out there who would be very happy to have a loyal and caring man like you as their boyfriend and would respect and stay faithful to you, so close this chapter and move on to explore, enjoy and be open to love and be loved once again. Soon enough you will meet someone you can trust and make a life with.
On a final note, dump these so-called friends and make new ones – especially those who understand what friendship means.