Dear Dorothy,
My husband and I have been married for nearly ten years with two lovely children. Over the years I noted that my husband had an eye for beautiful women and I suspected that he cheated on me from time to time, yet I tried not to let this bother me or seriously affect our relationship.
However, in recent months he has started to go out on weekends, giving one excuse after another. I suspect he is having an affair with someone special to him who is taking him away from me.
This turn of event is making me feel insecure, and I wouldn’t want to lose my husband to another woman. I have been a loving and faithful wife to him and a caring mother of our children.
Honestly, Dorothy, this situation is driving me nuts. What shall I do?
My Dear,
“Over the years, I noted that my husband had an eye for beautiful women and I suspected that he cheated on me from time to time”
Marriage is about love and trust. Where you have made a mistake is to turn a blind eye to the suspicions you had about your husband over the years. The problem is not that your husband admires beautiful women – there is nothing wrong with admiring people, the problem is when admiration moves to chat up the person and going beyond just admiration.
Since you have had your suspicions from way back, you should have found a way to discuss the subject of loyalty and faithfulness with him instead of carrying on as though all was well with your marriage.
However, I don’t think it is too late to have a heart to heart with your husband. Tell him that you love him and that you believe he loves you in return. Inform him that his recent absence from home most weekends is making your imagination run riot and you would like to know what is going on.
Don’t be quarrelsome, keep your cool and see what he says. Let’s hope he is just out with the boys and not seeing another woman.
I always advice married couples to be friends with one another and be free to talk to each other about their fears, concerns and worries and not leave things to their imagination which can lead to a lot of frustration and a break down of marriages. Couples should not keep things to themselves. They should share their concerns with one another so that they remain on the same page. Good luck.