Dear Dorothy,
After being married for 10 years, my husband just left me and our two children to begin a relationship with a colleague at work. Now that I’m alone, I find it hard to cope with everyday life. I’ve never had many good friends since, I have been contented with being a wife and a mother and sought no other kind of relationship meaningfully. I feel like someone dumped in the desert with 2 kids and no outside help. Looking after my children entirely on my own has become very exhausting and frustrating. I want to run away from my life yet I can’t leave my kids. Now they don’t have a father they need my attention even more, but this means I can’t find time for myself. I need help before I snap.
Wendy, Lagos.
Dear Wendy,
I’m so sorry about your dilemma. I’ll be firm with my advice as I do not want you to lose yourself in a sea of grief. You need to find comfort and pull yourself together. Your first step may be to see a professional counselor who would walk you through your grief then build a support system. I understand it’s hard on anyone when left for another but let your family members know what you are going through and gradually warm your way into your circle of friends. You’ll need a hug here and there, some listening ears and friends and sisters who don’t mind the tears when they come. Do not allow your anger, grief or bitterness to rule you and waste your life so pull yourself together and rise high.
Look at it on the other side, this is your time to attend the book readings, musical jamborees, and fashion events you’ve secretly wanted. Get trusted hands to watch over your kids while you take another look at the world. Nurture your interest and breathe again, you’ll get over the pains eventually. And don’t ever forget- the marriage relationship would never be the only relationship needed, keep your friends and loved ones around always.