Dear Dorothy,
I need your advice. My husband is an actor, and while I’m proud of his career, I struggle with the parts where he plays romantic roles. Watching him kiss other women on screen makes me uncomfortable. I know it’s part of the job, and he assures me it’s all acting, but I can’t seem to shake the jealousy and unease. Sometimes I avoid watching his films altogether, but friends bring them up, and I feel awkward. I don’t want to be the insecure wife, yet this keeps bothering me. How can I handle this without hurting our relationship or making him feel guilty for his work?
— Rosemary
Dear Rosemary,
You’re not alone in feeling this way, even the most secure partners can find it unsettling to see their loved one act out intimacy with someone else, no matter how “professional” it is. What you’re feeling doesn’t make you insecure; it makes you human.
Start by recognising that your husband’s kisses are part of his craft, not his heart. Acting is about illusion first; the camera captures a moment meant to convince the audience, not to express personal desire. However, your emotions deserve just as much validation as his professionalism.
Have an honest, calm conversation with him about what you feel. Avoid blame or guilt; instead, focus on sharing your emotional reality: “I know it’s work, but sometimes it stirs something in me.” A good partner will want to understand that, not dismiss it.
You might also consider creating boundaries that help you both. Perhaps you choose not to watch romantic scenes if they make you uneasy, and he, in turn, reassures you with more quality time or gestures of affection that remind you of your unique bond off-screen.
Finally, work on reframing your perspective. Instead of seeing his roles as competition, see them as proof of his talent that he’s convincing enough to make audiences believe in a story. That’s artistry, not betrayal.
Jealousy doesn’t vanish overnight, but with trust, communication, and reassurance, it loses its sting. The spotlight may be on him on set, but in real life, you’re his leading lady, and that’s the role no one else can play.
— Dorothy