Dear Dorothy,
I’ve been in a relationship for three years, and at first, everything was perfect. But over the past year, my partner has changed. He loses his temper over small things and sometimes takes it out on me. He says he’s sorry afterwards, buys me gifts, and promises it won’t happen again—but it does. I love him, and I keep hoping he’ll change, but I’m scared. What should I do?
— Helen
Dear Helen,
I’m so sorry you are going through this. No one deserves to be hurt by someone they love. The truth is, abuse is never just a “one-time” thing, and no amount of apologies or gifts can undo the harm caused. If he has hit you once, and especially if he has done it again, he will likely do it again in the future.
Love should never come with fear. A healthy relationship is built on trust, respect, and kindness—not violence. Your safety and well-being must come first, and I urge you to reach out for help. You don’t have to go through this alone. Speak to someone you trust—a friend, family member, or support organisation. There are helplines and services that can help you leave safely and rebuild your life.
He may promise to change, but real change takes professional help and commitment. It’s not your responsibility to “fix” him. Your responsibility is to yourself—to be safe, to be valued, and to live free from fear. Please, don’t wait for things to get worse. You are worth so much more.
Sending you strength and support.
— Dorothy