Dear Dorothy,
Since we moved in together, my partner thinks she has a perfect right to go through my personal possessions. She plays with my laptop and my phone and thinks nothing of going through my pockets and wallet for change.
She admits that she sometimes just has a “good old snoop around” because she’s nosy, and the other day I even found her checking my bank statements. This is really starting to unsettle me. I’m not doing anything wrong and don’t have anything to hide, but I do believe that I’m entitled to some privacy. When I get annoyed, she just laughs. How do I get her to realise that she’s seriously overstepping the mark?
Yours truly,
Mark
Dear Mark,
Your nosy girlfriend needs to understand that this is not a joke. You and she are now living together in an adult relationship, and there need to be boundaries and mutual respect. Sit her down and explain that her snooping is intrusive and has to stop. If she’s feeling insecure, paranoid about you contacting other women or worried that you’re stashing away money to spend on yourself, reassure her that you are open and honest and can be trusted. But if she shows no sign of getting the message, and you fear that she’s already becoming clingy, suspicious and unreasonable, then maybe you need to re-examine the future of this whole relationship.
All the best.