Dear Dorothy,
Lately, it feels like everyone around me is leaving the country. Friends, colleagues, even distant relatives are relocating abroad in droves. It is all anyone seems to talk about. They call it the japa syndrome and I think I have caught it too.
I find myself constantly daydreaming about a new life in the UK or Canada or even Australia. It is not just about better jobs or security, it is the idea of escape. I love Nigeria, but I am tired. Tired of the constant struggle, the uncertainty, the feeling that no matter how hard I work, I am stuck in a loop.
My family wants me to stay and build something here. They say running away is not the answer. But I cannot shake off this urge to leave. I do not know if it is genuine longing or just the fear of being left behind.
How do I make peace with this feeling?
Yours sincerely,
Clara
Dear Clara,
You are not alone and you are certainly not mad for feeling this way. The japa wave is more than a trend, it is a reflection of real frustrations and aspirations. The lure of a different life, with better infrastructure, healthcare and peace of mind, can be overwhelming. And when it feels like everyone else is going, staying behind can start to feel like failure.
But here is the thing. Relocation is not a magic escape button. It comes with its own share of struggles: loneliness, culture shock, starting from scratch and in many cases, a sense of displacement. That does not mean you should not go, but it does mean you should go for the right reasons.
Ask yourself: is this a move towards something meaningful, or simply away from discomfort? Are you prepared for the realities abroad or are you chasing a filtered dream sold on social media?
You owe it to yourself to explore options and make an informed decision. Look into visas, jobs, accommodation, community support and what it might cost emotionally and financially. At the same time, reflect on what staying might look like if you shifted things around, pursued new opportunities, or partnered with like minded people.
There is no shame in wanting more. Just make sure your desire is anchored in clarity, not comparison. Whether you choose to plant new roots elsewhere or nurture the ground beneath your feet, do it with your eyes open and your heart steady.
Warmly,
Dorothy