Dear Dorothy,
I love my children deeply, but lately I feel like I am failing them. I am always busy. Between work, running the home and trying to keep everything afloat, I am constantly tired. Some days I realise I have not really listened to them properly. Other days I am snapping when I should be patient.
Everyone says I am doing my best, but my heart tells me my children deserve more of me. I worry they will grow up remembering a mother who was always rushing and never fully present. How do I balance being a good provider and being emotionally available without burning out completely?
-Kelechi
Dear Kelechi,
First, let me say this gently and clearly. Your worry already tells me you care deeply, and caring parents are not failing parents.
Being a busy mum does not mean you are an absent one. Life today asks a lot of mothers, and many are carrying the weight quietly. Providing for your children, keeping a home running and still trying to show up emotionally is no small task. Feeling stretched does not mean you are doing something wrong. It means you are human.
Children do not need a perfect mother who has endless time and energy. What they need most is connection, even in small moments. A few minutes of undivided attention, a shared laugh, a genuine question about their day or a hug before bedtime can mean more than hours spent together while distracted.
It may help to release the idea that balance means doing everything equally. Some seasons are heavier than others. Instead, aim for intention. Choose small, repeatable moments to be present. Put the phone down when they are talking. Create a simple routine that belongs just to you and them, even if it is only once a day.
Also, be kind to yourself. Children learn not only from how we treat them, but from how we treat ourselves. A mother who rests when she can, asks for help when needed and forgives herself teaches her children valuable lessons about care and resilience.
One day, your children will not remember how busy you were. They will remember how safe they felt, how loved they were and how you showed up in the ways you could. From everything you have written, love is already present in your home. Sometimes, that is more than enough.
Take a breath. You are doing better than you think.
Yours sincerely,
Dorothy