From childhood, we have been conditioned to bottle up our feelings and avoid showing emotions even when we are hurting. Truth be told, we are not superhuman; we are mere humans. We feel pain too. We hurt too. And this happens in various aspects of our lives whether it’s in minute or major ways.
These hurtful feelings which we experience at various times in our lives and which we keep bottled up just because of our gender is not helping us because when we hurt, we inadvertently hurt other people especially our loved ones. Hurt people do indeed hurt other people.
This lashing out as a result of our frustration can be expressed in:
- Angry outbursts.
- Hurtful and ugly words to others.
- Lies and deception.
- Getting physically violent against others.
- Road rage, etc.
Whichever way it manifests, it is certainly pain. Masked or buried, the pain is in there, within our being, affecting the essence of our personality and how we relate and react to others.
So, as men, what can we do? What will it take for us to control our lives in a positive sense? How can we heal? It is time for us as men to acknowledge that we are not superhumans. We are mere mortals with our frailties and weaknesses. It is time for us to let go and let our true emotions show, to break down and cry if we have to. It is time for us to admit when we are in pain and hurting from life’s curve balls and to reach out and ask for help we need so that we can heal and not lash out in anger at those who mean well for us.
It is time that we acknowledge our full range of emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, et cetera. It is time for full self-awareness and full self-expression. It is time we reflect and acknowledge that the pain we feel has kept us from having a positive and well-rounded personality.
It takes courage to seek help and it is not a sign of weakness. You should try to gauge where you are mentally and emotionally and forgive yourself for the part you’ve played in creating and dwelling on the pain. It is time to also let go and forgive whoever caused you pain.
If you need professional help to heal completely, you should not be afraid to seek it so you can have clarity.
We owe it to ourselves to be healthy mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. It’s a prize we each deserve to experience fully.
The Pride Women Conference, which is held annually, focuses on the emotional well-being of the human person. Men are welcome to attend the conference. To register for the 2019 Pride Women Conference visit www.prideconference.org.