These days, weddings are a lot more about preparations and looking picture perfect than the vows (what vows?!). The wedding vows are solemn promises made by couples to commit to each other – well, that’s what they used to be. “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” These words, though simple, are profound and pregnant with meaning.
These days, most young couples recite these sentimental words loosely, like clichés that have lost its intensity. For this reason, there is a growing trend of separation and divorce amongst young couples.
What happened to ‘till death do us part’? What’s fueling the high rate of breakups? Unrealistic expectations, maybe?
It isn’t unusual for young boisterous couples to venture into marriage with expectations; however, it becomes an anomaly and a gateway for problems when these expectations are unrealistic. Some believe once they find that special person, they should be made whole and complete – this thought couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Marriage comes with its own set of challenges that should be addressed with patience, care and loving attention because it is never all sunshine and roses with a myriad of unicorns. So how can an institution that depends largely on patience for its survival fair in this age of instant gratification? In truth, it is a slippery slope that only leads downhill because impatience oftentimes leads to the demise of a relationship.
So, what steps can you take to keep your marriage whole in our divisive world?
- Over-familiarity breeds contempt, avoid it
Being familiar with your partner is unavoidable, but don’t get too familiar. Couples being too familiar is a trap that only leads to disrespect and disregard.
To avoid this, you and your partner need to make efforts to keep the relationship fresh by reliving your courtship days. Make time for dates; go see a movie together, go to a restaurant and have dinner… just do something fun!
- Have good sex
Sex is a heightened level of intimacy. Many people consider sex to be a vital component in a healthy marriage, and rightly so. However, problems may arise because of boredom, lack of intimacy, low sexual desires, and passionless sex. This is when communication becomes paramount; you should help your partner understand your sexual needs or desires and how to fulfil them.
- Communicate a lot
Just talk to one another, it’s that simple. This way, you’ll be able to deal with misunderstandings civilly. Differing from courtship, there is a high tendency for couples to talk less in marriage, so it is needful to recall the moments when you could talk to each other freely. It takes a few seconds to ask, “How was your day?” – A great conversation starter.
- Embrace Your Differences
No two people are alike or think alike. Every couple has their differences that may cause occasional disagreements. You should work through your arguments and differences and never let them colour how you relate to each other. Rather, use it as an opportunity to get to understand each other better. You never know, this may lead to a stronger relationship.
- Be civil
Shouting and name-calling only aggravates a situation, so a technique to adapt when things get heated is for someone to walk away – which is usually the level-headed partner. But, the party that walks always should always return to address the issue when tempers cool.
Also, when communicating, speak in plural terms: “we,” “us,” “our” – these words connote oneness.
- And celebrate each other
Marriage is not a competition, so rejoice in each other’s success and achievements. You are intimate partners, not competitors. It is needful to always nudge your partner to be the best versions of themselves because in their success lies your own.