Dear Dorothy,
I follow your weekly column. You are doing a great job. I am a single mom of two, who has been single to stupor. Anytime a man comes close, I don’t feel good enough and kind of push him away. The thing is that I see myself as someone who has been used, in local parlance-‘Tokunbo’. I think most men prefer ‘Tear rubber’ wife material. I am scared of letting men know that I had children outside wedlock. But I really would like to settle down. What do you suggest I do?
Love,
Carolina
Dear Carolina,
Thanks for your kind words. I am motivated to do more. Concerning your predicament, I see it as more of a mindset issue. You need to let go of the wrong thinking. A negative mindset affects your behaviour, how you see yourself and how others will see you. We tend to attract what our mind focuses on.
Stop dwelling on everything wrong with you and start focusing on everything ‘right’ with you. Instead of saying to yourself that you are not good enough for a man, say he would like you for being more informed and experienced etc. Read books on relationships so that you know how to get along with men and understand their psyche.
You should change all the negative thoughts in your mind to positive ones. It’s a gradual process. With time you would attract the good things your mind projects. I hope this helps.
Regards,
Dorothy