Dear Dorothy,
I am 23 years old, and I have been with my boyfriend since I was 17. We have had a very close relationship from the very beginning. However after 6 years together, I’ve lately began to feel that he is not the one for me.I have matured and changed over the years, and think in that period of time, we have grown apart.
I tried talking to him about taking a break from each other, but he got very upset saying that I do not love him anymore. I don’t think he is wrong. I like him as a friend but I do not love him anymore. I want to move on with my life. How do I let him go without hurting his feelings?
My Dear,
Six years is a long time to be in a relationship, and one that has been close from the start. I am curious – in your six years together, have you both discussed marriage, or is this not an issue in your relationship? I ask this because most people that have been courting for as long as both of you may have tied the knot by now or are about to.They would not be considering ending the relationship.
I think that you are at the point in a long-term relationship when people begin to evaluate the relationship, and question their love for each other and the future. I further suspect that since you met him at an early age, he is probably your one and only thus far and this may be part of the problem because you may be pondering why you are ending up with the first and only guy you ever dated.
Dating is not marriage. If you had taken the time to have a number of non-committed relationships with the opposite sex, you probably would not be at this crossroad in your life. I honestly think that given where you are mentally and emotionally with your boyfriend, you should give yourself a break to get yourself sorted out.Once you have done this, maybe you should try and date some other men but keep it platonic. Give yourself a chance to find out what you want and don’t want in a man, before settling on the one you want to be with. You may also find out after you have dated a few guys that your current boyfriend is the one for you. If he is the combination of qualities you want, the break and dating others may assuage your doubts and bring the two of you even closer. If not, you will be happy you ended the relationship.
One last thing, don’t feel guilty about this. Keep in mind it will not be easy for your boyfriend to hear his girlfriend wants a break. He will be upset and he should. But, it is not the end of the world for him, and it can be a great learning curve so long as you respect him and how he must feel.
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