By Yemisi Adegoke. (@briticoyemo)
So there we were, in the middle of Ozumba Mbadiwe with a dead car. As Funmi tried in vain to revive the Privia, the sound of horns began to engulf us. Angry drivers started yelling and a furious looking LASTMA official stalked over to us screaming at us to move the car. We tried to explain that it was dead but he wasn’t interested. Thankfully a passerby saw us in our distress and helped push the car away from the main intersection. This was not going to be pleasant.
Sometime after 4pm: The helpful passerby opened the bonnet of the car while the angry LASTMA guy went back to his post. The passerby grimaced and my insides turned. The car, he said had run out of water. Exasperated i called my boss and explained that I was having car trouble.
5 something: Numerous bags of pure water later, the helpful passerby furiously tried to cool the car down as I pondered what else could go wrong in this 24 hour period.
To 6: I sent a message to my colleague, updating him on the scenario and apologising profusely. The car was still stationary at the angry looking LASTMA official demanded we move the car away from the area as we were ‘causing a disturbance.’ Luckily for us a construction crew were passing by, the foreman (is that was the oga is called?) seeing the problem halted the truck and jumped off. He then rallied his colleagues to help push the car into a parking bay on a side street. Refusing to accept any money, he said helping out was the right thing to do.
Sometime after 6: We parted with the helpful passerby who told us to wait a few minutes and try the car again. I called my Dad who called his mechanic who said he’d be there to meet us ‘soon,’ I then updated my colleague as Funmi and I sat in the car trying to wile away time.
To 7: Funmi tried to keep morale going and jokingly started up the car, to our mutual disbelief and joy it started. We were off, I felt a glimmer of hope, OK, so I was three hours late but I wouldn’t totally miss meeting my boss. I mean we had been through enough, what else could go wrong.
7.00: Turns out a lot actually, because just as we exited the parking bay, the car died again.
After 7: Thankfully a group of guys helped us push the car back to the parking bay. I called my colleague again, trying to explain the absolutely ridiculousness of the day. There was nothing left to do other than wait for the mechanic. And wait we did.
8.00: And wait
9.00: And wait.
After 9: By this point I think I had reached some kind of delirium. Funmi and I hadn’t eaten a thing all day and we couldn’t stop laughing at the sheer idiocy of the day. My colleague called to say that my boss had left National Stadium and was now at his hotel in Lekki, he asked if I’d be able to meet him, I told him I would.
10pm: The mechanic finally arrived, he tinkered around with the car some before making a face to signify the problem was beyond the lack of water. Now the issue was moving the car, it couldn’t remain in a parking bay overnight, so we’d have to move to the nearby AP. The question was..how?
10.30pm: After attempts to start the car failed, the only solution was to push the car. So we push we did. We pushed. And pushed. Funmi and I pushed that big old Privia as though our lives depended on it but we still couldn’t see how we would get it all the way to the petrol station which in the dark of night to an exhausted mind could as well have been Mount Kilimanjaro. Funmi called one of her friends who happened to be in the area and like a knight in shining armour he arrived to tow our car to the petrol station.
11.00pm: Leaving the car in the possession of the mechanic, Funmi’s friend graciously offered us a ride to Lekki where I had a fifteen minute pow-wow with my boss. I can’t imagine how I must have looked an exhausted, dishevelled, sweaty mess, who may or may not have had a few ink stains on her chin. When he offered me a beer I took it. First impressions eh?
11.30pm: The long journey back to the safety of my house began. Upon arrival I showered off the remnants of the day and collapsed into the arms of my beloved bed waiting for sleep to take over and release me from the tyranny of the day.
Like I said, sometimes Lagos wins.