Every workplace has its unique dynamics. While a strong work ethic and initiative are desirable traits, they can sometimes tip into micromanagement or over-assertiveness. A controlling team member, even if well-meaning, can hinder collaboration, stifle creativity, and erode team morale. So, how can a leader or colleague address this behaviour constructively without fuelling conflict?
- Observe before acting
It’s important to differentiate between someone who is merely confident and one who is truly controlling. Observe how this person interacts with others. Do they dominate conversations, insist their way is the only way, or take over tasks meant to be shared? Gathering specific examples will help you address the behaviour objectively.
- Understand the motive
Most controlling behaviour stems from fear: fear of failure, fear of losing relevance, or lack of trust in others’ capabilities. A private conversation can reveal a lot. Ask open-ended questions and listen actively. Understanding their ‘why’ helps frame a more empathetic approach and makes room for positive change.
- Set clear boundaries
Once you’ve identified problematic behaviour, it’s essential to set clear boundaries. Reiterate team roles and responsibilities. If they keep stepping outside their lane, calmly but firmly redirect them. Use phrases like, “I value your input, but this task is for [colleague’s name] to lead.”
- Encourage collaboration, not control
Create more opportunities for collaborative work. Use project management tools or regular check-ins to promote transparency and shared accountability. Encourage the controlling team member to delegate and trust others to deliver. You might say, “Let’s work on this as a team,” or, “Could you support rather than lead this one?”
- Give constructive feedback
Feedback should be specific, respectful, and private. Avoid labelling them as “controlling” outright. Instead, focus on how their actions affect the team. For instance: “When you reassign tasks without discussion, it confuses. Let’s agree to go through the team lead moving forward.”
- Model the right behaviour
As a leader or team peer, your behaviour sets the tone. Show trust in others, ask for input, and delegate effectively. Your example may help the controlling team member relax their grip and recognise the value of shared effort.
- Know when to escalate
If the behaviour persists and disrupts team functioning despite your efforts, it may be time to involve HR or senior leadership. Frame the issue around its impact on productivity and well-being rather than making it personal.
After all, someone who cares too much about getting things right can often become a great ally if they learn to trust the team around them.