By Charles Anyiam-Osigwe
The other day, I was having lunch at a restaurant and relishing (or should I say bemoaning) the idea of eating alone. I had just enough on me to pay for one meal, it still would have been nice to have some company. Halfway through my meal, three ladies came in, and sat at the table next to mine.
Their excited chatter kept distracting my thoughts. I soon found myself eavesdropping on their conservation. I then was no longer in a hurry to finish my meal, as their conversation got more interesting
1st Lady: So Bala has asked you to marry him? How wonderful!
2nd Lady: What’s wonderful about it? I don’t see anything wonderful about Bala
1st Lady: You wouldn’t – it’s not you he asked to marry him. So what’s your problem?
2nd Lady: He’s just not my type, that’s all? He’s not good-looking, he’s not rich and he’s not…
3rd Lady (cutting in): Hey, do you mind. That’s my Bala you’re talking about. How can you people be discussing him as if I’m not around?
1st Lady: I don’t know what Fatima’s problem is, or are you jealous?
Fatima: Jealous of who? If you want to marry a poor, ugly half-educated man, Zainab, that’s your problem, not mine.
Zainab: I happen to love him. He is not half educated he has a diploma in Journalism.
Fatima: Diploma in journalism? Ha! I said it. Those romantic stories you’re always burying your head in, will be your undoing; wake up! Get real, my dear friend!
Zainab: What do you mean! Jemil is right. You must be envious. So loving someone enough to marry him is wrong eh!
Fatima: Look, boyfriend – girlfriend is one thing, but marriage is another thing. It is more serious business. You better be sure of what you’re getting into. Marriage is no child’s play.
Jemil: True! But I don’t think there is anything to be worried about. Marriage is no child’s play, but it can be fun.
Fatima: Yes, but it won’t be fun when the children start coming. Children will not eat love. They need solid food to grow.
Zainab: They need love too!
Fatima: Sure they do. But have you tried telling a kid, ‘I Love You’ when he/she is screaming for his/her food?
Jemil: I just think with a bit of preparation for this journey, hooking up with someone permanently can’t be bad.
Fatima: Have you not read the mammy wagon philosophy that says ‘’Marriage is war”, If you go to war unprepared you are bound to fail.
Zainab: Haven’t you heard the saying, “love conquers all?!
Fatima: (laughing sarcastically) Yes, that’s what they say. For me, my philosophy is No Money – No Love!!
Zainab: Haba Fatima!
Fatima: Look, I’m a realist, not a dreamer. Tell me, what do you need to pay the rent or build a house?
Jemin: Money!
Fatima: What do you need to furnish the house!
Jemil: Money!
Fatima: I am just getting started. Now tell me Zainab, what do you need to feed yourself and the children?
Zainab: Money!
Fatima: To cloth them?
Zainab: Money!
Fatima: To buy and maintain your car?
Zainab & Jamil: Money!!
Fatima: Now tell me, where does love come in here? When it’s obvious that money conquers all? Zainab, think twice about this marriage proposal. WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?
All three of them broke into laughter. I snapped out of my reverie by the loud laughter of the ladies. They had finished their meal and were about leaving.
I had gotten so carried away that I didn’t realize my lunch hour was over. Better rush back to work, can’t afford to lose my job.
Out of Job would mean Out of Money and if I’m to go by Fatima’s dictum, this would mean: No Money and No Money, No love. I do need some loving. Or at least be loveable by being in employment.
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