“Don’t worry, just vote me as the governor of the state –
You will witness a political El Dorado
You will never witness any problem in the state.
You will enjoy voting me so much that you will want me to be an immortal ruler of this country.
I will rebuild all dilapidated schools and colleges.
I will build many bridges and recreational centres.
I will not even take a penny from the state purse.
Investors will rock the state during my tenure.
Just vote for me!!!”
The man cried like a kid whose lollypop had been snatched by a stringent elder.
Believing his words, his kinsmen voted for him.
He was happy to be elected and the gala night was really a spectacle to behold.
Half of the state’s funds were expended for this extravaganza.
In the first three months, he settled the three billion Naira he spent on his campaign.
His godfathers got a hefty return on the investment they made in his political career.
They all laughed all the way to the bank with looted state treasure.
The high cost of the campaign had made him bankrupt so he had to refloat.
His greed and avarice knew no bounds.
After five months of living in grandeur, he remembered to switch on the television only to see the Nigeria Labour Congress demanding for three-month salary arrears.
Nothing in the budget had been implemented
Electricity supply to industry and citizens was still epileptic and deteriorating every day.
Not to worry, energy shortage was not a concern for him.
Three giant generators and five inverters working 24/7 provided his energy requirements.
He had no time for his kinsmen who voted him to power.
In a blink of an eye, another election is drawing near.
He looked at his record for the past four years, nothing to show for it.
That was when he remembered to erect electric poles
on some streets to give the impression that he was addressing
the energy needs because he was desperate for their votes.
His kinsmen were not impressed.
They are ready to chase him out of office in the coming election.
He was in a dilemma. “What will he do?”
He thought hard to come up with a strategy to fool the electorate one more time.
He opted for a plan B.
He created a five-man committee to look into the past records
of his opposition in the coming election and blackmail them thereafter.
His kinsmen were still not impressed.
He had to go. Enough was enough.
He recruited some armed goons.
Their work was simple; they should disrupt the election,
snatch ballot boxes, intimidate the electorate and electoral officers.
No stone should be left unturned
to ensure that the election result is manipulated in his favour.
He must win by force or by fire.
So it was that Election Day turned out not to be about democrazy.
Polling boots turned in battle zones.
The citizens were the casualties.
He “won” his second term
The opposition sued him,
saying the election results were manipulated.
They sought justice in the courts of law.
It was a bonanza for the Judges
as they built new mansions from the justice they dispensed.
He was declared the winner.
Life goes on …
This is the story of Nigeria and its politicians.
If this is fake news, then, prove me wrong in the coming elections!
By Abdullahi Soliu